When the clock strikes midnight this year on New Year’s Eve I’m going to feel two things — relief and unparalleled enthusiasm.

Wait, what? Ya, I’m not sure those two often go together either, but for me, they do.

When looking back on 2011, I can pretty much split the year into two. There was the half that was clouded by intense pain and heartache, and there was the part that made me feel alive once again. In a handful of months earlier this year I lost three incredibly important people in my life. You know, the kind of people you mention in your prayers every night before going to bed. People who shaped who I am and who I will be as I move forward in my life. These people were my Grandma Marilyn, Grandpa Wendell, and one of my best friends, Samantha Schaff.

While losing my grandparents was incredibly hard, they lived full lives and I know they are happier now. I also know I will carry on their name and legacy in the best way I know how. I’m living with even more of a purpose now. On the other hand, losing a friend only a year older than me doesn’t make sense to this day.

I’m not sure it ever will.

As June 1 came, so did my one-year anniversary of living in LA. I realized I made it a whole year of starting a life over basically from scratch — new town, new job, new industry, new apartment, new lifestyle, new friends. And that feeling that I did it — on my own — was motivating in its own right. And it was around this time that I made a vow to live each moment of life as hard as I could — and that I did.

The second half of the year was a whirlwind of special moments. I went to Daytona International Speedway for the first time. And I didn’t just go there, I had the incredible goosebump-inducing opportunity to volunteer for one of my mentors in the media center. I got to hear the questions the reporters had for the drivers post-race, when yes, they were still wiping the sweat off their faces. There was one moment when I was standing there in the back of the room looking around at the epicenter of the sport, and I thought, “Wow, in a small way, I actually made it.” I can’t really describe what that felt like other than that I knew in that moment I was living. And I was happy.

This year I also went to Disneyland with my sisters when they visited and attended a Taylor Swift concert at the Staples Center with my Aunt Cheri and cousin, Amanda. I enjoyed my first-ever Thanksgiving meal on my own with the company of my mom and sister. I went to my first Dodgers game with two special friends. I experienced a Griz game — twice — from the second row of the North End Zone with a good friend. I brought the same friend to his very first NASCAR race in Phoenix, where we witnessed Kasey Kahne’s Victory Lane celebration and I met NASCAR Nationwide Series Champion Ricky Stenhouse Jr. and 2011 Daytona 500 winner Trevor Bayne. I also met one of my NASCAR heros, Chad Knaus. With the still-blows-my-mind coding skills of my friend, Caroline, I launched a redesigned I Want Her Job — complete with a new logo made by a co-worker who has whimsical talent, Betty. I interviewed one of my childhood heros, Ann M. Martin, on IWHJ. I let go of my tendency to want to do everything myself with the website and found women more talented than me in their respective areas to lend their talents in making the site even more phenomenal. That was probably one of my best decisions of the year, and it taught me what a true team really feels like. I redecorated my house to reflect my style. It’s part Carrie Bradshaw/part West Elm and 100 percent “me”.

At work I scored a regularly-occurring guest writing gig on Fast Company for our executive strategy director, Clyde. I also helped place (and research) an article that ended up trending for a weekend on Mashable. I spoke on a panel about Twitter at Digital Hollywood with others who I frankly thought were out of my league. (And I held my own.) I helped create a social strategy for one of the leading sports brands. I conquered a years-old fear in participating in — wait for it — a forthcoming reality show. I also was a part of two pitches with highly-visible dream clients. And most importantly, I had the opportunity once again in my job to mentor two incredible interns as they held their first-ever event at the agency.

I might not have attended as many concerts as I wanted to. I still may be frustrated at the fact that I can’t seem to sparkle in that special way for my dream guy. And I still don’t work out like I should. But you know what? The things I did accomplish and the people I did affect in my small way, made me feel like I was living. And after a spring that was all about death, I can’t think of a better way to rebound.

Now for the Enthusiasm …

I’m officially declaring 2012 as the Year of the Woman. (Just wait, there’s a post to come on I Want Her Job.) And what this means for me is living up to my contribution to this. I’m going to wake up every day and be that woman who I always dreamed I would be — gracious, stylish, successful, compassionate and loving like there’s no tomorrow. Oh, and I’m also going to try to accomplish these goals along the way …

1/ Put my health first. [This means working out regularly, switching from Coca-Cola to San Pellegrino, saying goodbye caramel macchiato and hello sugar-free caramel soy latte, getting 6 to 7 hours of sleep per night, going to the dentist -- yikes, and saying "no" just a little more so I can recharge me.]

2/ Start a morning routine beyond coffee. [I need to get healthy. That means I need to have more at breakfast than coffee. I need eggs and toast or granola and yogurt. I also want to devote half an hour to reading content others are producing, instead of just focusing on what I am creating.]

3/ Attend the Daytona 500. [It's the Super Bowl of racing. Enough said.]

4/ Attend a Steelers game. [It's about time my Terrible Towel got some use in a stadium.]

5/ Go to a Sugarland + Kenny Chesney concert. [Kenny really needs to become a yearly tradition, and Sugarland's songs speak to my soul.]

6/ Pay off my debt. [This one will be the hardest, but I have quite the epic closet. It's time ... ]

7/ Be part of bringing in a win that matters for the agency. [If I can do this I will feel like I've helped give the agency a part of what they've given me. And there are fewer futures I believe in more than WDCW.]

8/ Start my next website. [It's sports-related. It's one everyone has asked me to create for some time. And I think I finally found the right partner to help make it happen.]

*9/ My secret wish. [I have zero control over this one, but I'd love to meet my partner in life. I'm craving that best friend who I know inside out and vice versa. I want to lift someone else up every day. And I want someone to experience my moments of living -- good + bad -- with. He is out there. And God will introduce us when it's time.]

Thanks to each and every one of you for being a part of the special moments and the ones that made me lean on you hard this year. Life only matters because of those you experience it with. Enthusiastic cheers to a phenomenal 2012!

“Enthusiasm is followed by
disappointment and even depression,
and then by renewed enthusiasm.”
-murray gell-mann

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